Turn up in Geneva having never skied. Pretend you’d really like to but it’s hard with the kids being so little blah blah blah. Then after much pressure, and when the kids are around 4 years old and turning into copies of Lindsay Vonns, you give it a go.
As you predicted, it is petrifying, cold, exhausting and you are not gifted.
As the pressure mounts from the skiing masses, you desperately plot to avoid skiing and buy yourself a puppy which can’t possibly be left along. You tell yourself and anyone that will listen, that ‘extreme dogwalking’ is a new alpine sport.
No more games. When anyone asks ‘Where do you ski?’, you answer ‘I don’t’, and watch their faces contort. You could say, ‘I’m all for global warming’ and get a less severe response. But you simply don’t care as you have embraced the February vacation!